sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
