am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
