Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
