Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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