It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
