So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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