absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
