i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
