Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize