I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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