i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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