Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
