I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I need water and some morals
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