Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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