I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
