Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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