Can i not drive my cunt home
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
