I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
