i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
