i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
