No awkward lesbian experiences without me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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