I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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