This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
