i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
