i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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