TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
