ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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