The maid of honor just puked.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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