Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
