note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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