shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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