And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
