he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's official drugs can't kill me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
