Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
