god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
