The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
