we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
