I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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