I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
