He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
