I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
