I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
