I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
barbara walters just said penis...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
