He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
