You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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