my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
