what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
