btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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