Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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