so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
