If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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