Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
