you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
