Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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